From Shahzadah to Self-Sufficient? Why Subcontinental Men Struggle to Grow Up

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Niche

Administrator

When the main lead of Jama Taqseem, Qais sighs, “office university sai wapis aata tha tou shahzadoun ki tarha rakhtay thay,” it hits home, not because it’s rare, but because it’s too familiar. That one line captures generations of men in the subcontinent who have been gloriously cushioned by family systems that shield them from the simplest adult responsibilities.

From being served tea before they even ask to having their laundry magically appear clean in their wardrobes, many men are never really taught the language of independence. In joint families, mothers, sisters, bhabhis and household help smoothen every crease of their day-to-day life. So when they finally move out, and the tea doesn’t pour itself, the socks don’t fold, and the belt doesn’t hang ready by the bed, frustration brews.

But here’s the real kicker: instead of learning, they resent. They call the move toward independence a mistake, as if the absence of caretakers is a personal injustice. The result? A cycle of emotional dependence that often burdens women, wives become stand-ins for mothers, expected to cater, calm, and clean.

It’s a pattern steeped in cultural conditioning – where masculinity is measured in authority, not accountability. Perhaps it’s time we redefine “mardangi” to include making your own breakfast and finding your own belt. Because true adulthood isn’t about age or paychecks, it’s about showing up for yourself.