Wedding seasons are the most busiest times of the year for all women in Pakistan, as well as a really stressful time because whether married or un-married, society loves reminding women that they’re not doing enough. So this time, Twitter users came together to share some really interesting reminders that all women must keep in mind as they proceed with getting married or are planning to have children in the future.
One of the most crucial things twitter users emphasized on was how women need to read up on their nikkah-nama before signing it, and especially how important it is for them to maintain their right to divorce. Including this clause helps women maintain control over their mehr and also saves them from being exploited if they seek a divorce in courts, as Sara Malkani, a lawyer who spoke to Dawn on this matter said: “To include your right to divorce is extremely crucial because in the event that you want to dissolve your marriage, it will streamline the whole process. The split will take less time and most importantly, you won’t have to give up your mehr.”
Activist and lawyer Noor Ejaz Chaudhry began this conversation when she emphasized on how the right to divorce clause in a nikkah-nama is crucial for a woman’s safety and any one who convinces the woman the refrain from doing so is wrong
The right to divorce may seem trivial but is absolutely crucial. As is your right to demand Haq mehr of your choice. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is wrong. Whether its family, friends, in laws whatever. https://t.co/o6d7Y1CoNE
— Noor Ejaz Chaudhry (@noorejazch) October 17, 2021
She further explained that this clause helps women to remain secure in case they are in abusive marriages, and helps them escape easily while also maintain control over the mehr she was promised by her husband
Women retaining the right to divorce clause is NOT synonymous to wanting to break up a marriage later.
The Nikkahnama is a crucial form of security. Let’s treat it as that.
Just because you add a termination clause in a contract does not mean you 100% intend to terminate it!!
— Noor Ejaz Chaudhry (@noorejazch) October 17, 2021
Another important advice twitter users had was for married women who proceed to become wives and mothers and are consistently told to handle every burden by themselves. This user emphasized to women that the term “super mom” needs to be debunked because of how it places unrealistic expectations solely on mothers to work and take care of their kids, and completely disregards their mental health.
Women, please don’t fall into the trap of becoming super moms/super women. We’re only humans. We need better support systems at work and at home. We need breaks. We need a work-life balance. We shouldn’t have to compromise on our health to prove ourselves.
— Saman Tariq (@stariq88) October 16, 2021
In the comments section, married women shared their own insights into being told to handle everything on their own, and how they chose not to follow such a damaging message.
I was exhausted yesterday..mentally exhausted probably… I had laundry to do… But then i decided i didnt want to do..my MIL asked me kyu nai lagai machine..? I said dil nai kia 🤷🏻♀️ https://t.co/FH5mgizHsR
— 𝓝U (@Naviiangel) October 18, 2021
So ladies lets remember that while during this wedding season, society loves admonishing women for their independence or demand for safety guaranteed before signing a crucial document. It’s absolutely necessary that we all keep supporting and guiding women through advice like this to remind them that its not an act of rebellion to prioritize yourself before others!
