Reflecting on ones’s life and relationships is the philosophical route to wisdom.
Often in our lives we make mistakes and get hurt or hurt others. Sometimes the hurt we cause is done subconsciously and we don’t realise it. Until someone voices our hurtful patterns. In some unfortunate cases, even voicing the pain goes unnoticed and unchanged.
Recognising your toxic patterns
To realise where we are are wrong. It is important to start noticing the recurrent and toxic patterns we exhibit. It is very challenging to call yourself out for where you are wrong. However the power of recognising your own patterns gives you a better understanding of your relationships and realise your part of the problem.
When you know your patterns only then can you ask someone else to notice their’s and work on it.
Working on your toxic patterns
Most of our toxic behaviours have roots in our childhood. Recognising those emotions and actions and addressing them will not only allow us to be emotionally mature but also allow our friends and family to notice the change.
Coming out clean with our weaknesses will overcome our ego and insecurities. It will allow us to take help for patterns that are too strong or too deep to be worked on alone.
Lowering your guard
In our pursuit of self protection, we often forget how our walls and barriers are affecting others. We expect warmth but fail to give the same warmth to others. We hide our true emotions because we think it may be seen as a weakness and may give too much power to the other person. However this is very far from the truth. Relationships aren’t games of who wins how much. They take consistent hard work from both the parties to sustain.
Therefore letting your guard down to be helped and understood is extremely important.
Don’t delay the process
Running away from confrontations or fights in an attempt to maintain the peace in our lives is a redundant option. Emotions have their own memory. They will come haunting when we least expect it. Therefore it is wise to sit and address the problem. No matter how many fights it takes with oneself or others. Getting to the bottom of the issue and actively learning and resolving it today, will save you from so much confusion and pain tomorrow.
Allow yourself to heal
Understanding all our weaknesses and forgiving ourselves and others will allow our wounds to heal. Healing is an integral part of every relationship. If our previous wounds haven’t yet healed, we will go on making the same mistakes and hurt ourselves and others.
Take this time to reflect and assess your relationships and your emotions. Pen them down. Set emotional goals and achieve them.