Why is a topic like divorce treated as a stigma rather than something that deserves acknowledgment and treated with empathy? We have often seen the word divorce used to shame people, especially women by deeming them as “immoral” or “loose character”. Like yesterday many social media users criticized this politician for claiming during a seminar that the reason why the divorce rate in Pakistan was increasing was because women had begun smoking which is why their in-laws cannot accept them. Journalist Nayab Jan criticized this misogynist take on Twitter by pointing out that while smoking was bad for everyone, why are women blamed for having a lose character for the same thing men are allowed to do so?
Smoking is hazardous without a doubt. The problem is how the hazards change based on gender- a man who smokes risks losing his life. A woman who smokes risks losing her life, reputation and apparently marriage! https://t.co/VL8It0EqPP
— Nayab Jan (@NayabGJan) December 1, 2021
Today a user shared a screenshot of a survey which said that the divorce rate in Pakistan had increased and asked their followers to share their reasons for this happening. Many of these responses included women who mostly pointed out that it was because of more awareness about their rights, women had now begun choosing divorces rather than staying in toxic relationships. This is the choice we need women to start embracing!
A reason why women find it difficult to leave abusive marriages is because she is always encouraged by he in-laws to remain patient and keep praying for her husband to change, or otherwise she will be seen as “immoral” in the eyes of society. But why is it considered more horrifying for women to remain independent and free from abusive husbands than stuck in a home where there is no love or respect? Like this twitter user shared, women have finally understood from watching how their moms and other women have suffered in loveless marriages that it is better to leave them than stay and keep getting hurt.
Girls have learned from how their mothers lived their lives and they have decided not to take bullshit from toxic men.They have a voice now,parents are supportive towards getting out of relationships if not treated right. Plus,education that brings financial stability.Big W imo. https://t.co/eyZAc4uioT
— Malik (@DesiBurger23) December 1, 2021
In our society women are the ones who are pressurized to give up more than their husbands are and change themselves to be accepted by their in-laws. They’re told to give up on their career ambitions, their education, independence as well as their financial savings because of the sizable “dowry” required by their in-laws . But this user shared that because more women were beginning to understand that they don’t need to stay in abusive relationships where they are required to sacrifice themselves for the sake of survival, but instead they can leave and invest in becoming stronger individuals!
Enlightenment. 99% men don’t see their wives as partners but rather care takers, child reproduction systems and sex toys,paying no heed to their needs and respect. Leaving abusive marriages is better than staying in them, even if society thinks divorce gives females a bad name. https://t.co/vJW2gDcKTe
— Ellie / #JusticeForNoor🐾 (@blurredoutname) December 1, 2021
Financial security is part of the reason why women decide to stay in unhappy marriages, because of the fear that they won’t have the ability to provide for themselves or their children if they choose to leave their husbands. This twitter user points out that now more women have started to understand the importance of financial independence, they had found a path to leaving abusive marriages
Women opting for financial independence. When you aren’t reliant on your in-laws & husband for even the most basic necessities, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to manipulate you. The entire institution of marriage would crumble if women stopped taking shit from others. https://t.co/UDPl7MPisu
— ماہ رخ (@mahrujuana) December 1, 2021
A barrier that comes between women and achieving their ambitions is when their families tell them “log kya kahenge”. We need to stop telling our daughters that they solely exist for the approval of others and tell them that their happiness must come first! Which is what journalist Bina Shah shared that women were beginning to understand that they must love themselves first
Women have realized they don’t have to suffer in bad marriages any longer because “log kya kehenge” is bullshit https://t.co/McTNhxLgda
— Bina Shah (@BinaShah) December 1, 2021
So lets hope that these revelations from women help in shifting the narrative surrounding divorce from being treated like a tabboo that shames women who choose to leave abusive homes, and instead we celebrate them for refusing to remain in toxic marriages. Let’s stop telling women that they must repress their individuality in fear of “log kya kahengee” and instead let them know that prioritizing yourself is not a bad thing!
