Becoming a new mom is a thankless job because it requires women to make immense sacrifices to take care of a newly born baby, and yet still be criticized for “not having it all together”. Newly mothers are required to give up on their sleep, their relaxation and also their social life to keep their in-laws satisfied and to solely take care of their babies all on their own, so why do we direct so much blame towards them for the way they choose to parent their children?
Twitter users and celebrities alike had to jump to the defense of new moms in these past few days after politician and singer Abrar-ul-Haq joked about how in today’s society new mother’s did not devote endless hours to ensure their children fall asleep the way they did in the past. He criticized mothers in this generation for solely relying on phones and gadgets to play “baby shark” to their children in order to entertain them.
To these comments, twitter users had to ask that why was it always men like Abrar ul Haq who had something to criticize about how women choose to take care of their children? Women are still mistreated by their in-laws and their husbands, and are made to act as the sole care-giver for their children alone and they cannot reach out to their parents or relatives for help in case they are shamed for bringing shame to the family. Is the act of taking care of a child solely the responsibility of the mother because why aren’t we also holding father’s responsible for not being present for their upbringing?
“Phone de daitee hai maa haath mai” – the casual exclusion of fathers as caregivers and the complete disacknowledgment of their role in raising their biological children. Honestly, FUCK this god damn patriarchal system. https://t.co/lvhTNnBgWN
— z (@bus_kerdou) August 29, 2021
All I see is a sea of uncles, who know nothing about raising children, laughing at mothers. https://t.co/UWMphoeSNV
— Mavra Ghaznavi (@MavraGhaznavi) August 29, 2021
That Abrar ul Haq video is a typical Pakistani uncle bethak gathering. Sitting and shaming women on not being good enough mothers/wives and the rest of them laughing loudly.
— Azaad Parinda (@march_aurat) August 29, 2021
Bold of Abrar UL Haq to shame women for playing Baby Shark for their infants, when he literally sang the song:
Drive me Crazy
i wanna love u
i wanna be with u now
ni parveen, bari namkeen
utu to maskeen, par vicho bari shakeen aye
— Jasir Shahbaz (@LahoreMarquez) August 30, 2021
Umm so the guy who sang ‘Billo de Ghar’ and ‘Nach Panjaban’ thinks that Pakistani moms letting their kids listen to ‘Baby Shark Doo Doo’ are responsible for our collective social and moral decline. #Taaliyan #AbrarUlHaq
— Maria Amir (@Beentherella) August 28, 2021
Celebrities also used their social media to point out that the shallow criticism and jokes directed towards new mothers is more harmful and refuses to recognize how demanding of a job it truly is. Actor and entertainer Yasir Hussain yesterday posted a video of his wife Iqra Aziz singing baby shark to their son, and in the comments he criticized mom shamers for refusing to understand how difficult it is to raise a child
“Never judge a mom for how she chooses to take care of her baby and what type of songs she sings to them. Had I known before that how demanding the sole task of taking care of a baby is, I would never have had the courage to talk back to my own mother in such a rude manner.”
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So please let’s all remember that before we criticize mothers for destroying their children’s minds because they use too much gadgets or they don’t sing local nursery rhymes, stop and ask yourself that why are you holding her responsible alone and not her husband as well? And also remember that motherhood is a thankless service for which women are forced to carry through all alone and are shamed endlessly for reaching out for help. So let’s all learn to empathize with each other and teach women that it’s okay to reach out for help if they need it!