Can women in this country re-call a time when their clothes or appearance wasn’t brought to attention over their accomplishments? This is a living reality for every brown woman, to be harshly critiqued over the way she dresses or where she goes despite how hard working or successful she could be.
This notion became the subject of conversation on Twitter today when a clip from Neo News featuring cricket players Abdul Razzaq and Nida Dar, where the former began mocking the latter for looking “manly” and the television hosts were seen laughing along with him
How to punch everyone in this video except Nida https://t.co/yJsdcer383
— Eman |🇵🇸 🌸 (@itsemannotemaan) July 14, 2021
No words… even that woman panelist was laughing. No one objected as if that jerk razzak have made a very logical point. https://t.co/kcZ2ABS1Sd
— Weed Energy (@BISHTISM) July 14, 2021
Let’s all remember here that Nida Dar is not just a good cricket player but has also been internationally recognized for being the first ever Pakistani cricketer for taking 100 T201 wickets. She has been praised by sports commentators for being a standout player both nationally and in foreign matches and her nickname is “Lady Boom Boom” because of her phenomenal batting skills. Given this, her appearance or the fact that she chooses to appear “manly” shouldn’t be something to degrade or criticize her over.
Nida Dar’s sexist treatment in this clip gives us an insight into how toxic masculinity is deeply entrenched into the minds of men in this country, that prevents them from respecting a woman who is stronger than them. Toxic masculinity tells both men and women that they must resort to being small, submissive and humble in the eyes of others and if they appear to be assertive or show independence, then they’re only threatening the man. The number of times women in their childhood are told to stay away from that might reveal that they’re so much more than just an object to be gazed upon for instance don’t wear “bold” clothes, don’t wear too much makeup, don’t be so outspoken or aggressive, stay silent about harassment etc. prove that our society hates strong women.
Adnan Malik summarized how toxic masculinity can be oppressive for men in this interview with Indus News where he pointed out how being taught to be aggressive and manly since childhood is the notion instilled from men in childhood and which later onwards prevents them from developing better connections with the women in their life:
“Toxic masculinity is taught to boys and girls from a young age. Boys like blue, girls like pink. Boy’s must appear to be tough and aggressive, they must not be emotional or sensitive. You’re suppose to be really competitive and do the job that needs to be done and provide for your family and the women in your life. It’s a very claustrophobic and tight container which causes a lot of mental health problems later in your life.”
And for this reason, women like Nida Dar should be praised instead for teaching little girls and women that above all of society’s expectations, we should do whatever makes us feel happy.