Let’s talk about the term “bridezilla” and how deeply misogynist it really is

Do we hate women for being “bossy” or do we just hate them for taking charge and wanting things to go according to their wishes?

Mahnoor Jalal

Mahnoor Jalal


Bridezilla: the term coined to describe a woman who is devoted to planning her aspect of her wedding day to make sure it remains one of the happiest moments of her life. People love to use this term to put down any woman who takes charge of her wedding event and wants everything to go in precise order and control. “Nagging”, “bossy” or “uptight”, these are words we use for women who take charge over situations and want it to go according to their wishes.

Today on Twitter, a video was trending where a user was mocking a bride who refused to walk down her altar because the dj had not played the music she had specifically requested to. However, many people found offence with this and soon in the quote tweets they began defending the bride and pointed out how calling women “bossy” and “demanding” because they desire to have a good wedding is deeply misogynist because society is not comfortable with women taking control and demanding things to go the way they want

In a country where women aren’t encouraged to invest in getting a good education or build up a successful career, but we are told since our childhood that our ambition must be to marry a man who is rich and that will become the time when society truly sees us as valuable. So why are we so bent on putting down a woman who is rightfully upset that her wedding doesn’t go according to the way she wants it? It’s because our society to its core isn’t comfortable with women demanding their rights and for things to go the way they want. Bridezilla is another outcome of the double standards enforced over both men and women and how they must appear in our society. We’re comfortable with nitpicking women over their body weight, their skin color and on their wedding days we want them to sit passively and god forbid they laugh or express any public affection towards their husband because it proves they are ‘badtameez” and “head strong”. Whereas had it been a man who had been confronting people rudely about the tiniest thing gone wrong, people wouldn’t even be this much shocked and would just praise him for being a “hard worker” and a “boss man”. If you really still don’t think this is true, look how men become super aggressive and rowdy when our country loses a cricket match and how no one chooses to bat an eye but just dismiss it as “boys being boys”.

So instead of encouraging women to remain passive and less passionate about the things they truly enjoy, let’s de bunk the bridezilla narrative and encourage women to do everything they want to ensure that their wedding event becomes the happiest moment of their lives. Ladies, the next time a desi aunty comes up to you to tell you not to be too loud and aggressive on your wedding day, and not to smile or laugh too much otherwise people might think you’re not respectable at all. Let them think what they want. It’s your day and you get to celebrate it the way you want!