Samiya Hijab, a social media influencer and Tiktoker based in Islamabad, barely escaped attempted kidnapping by her ex-fiance Hassan Zahid who belongs to Lahore. She has also accused him of physically and mentally abusing her in the relationship that led her to end all ties with him.
As the matter unfolds, people are reacting on social media and many are getting exposed as harrasment apologists. It is completely lost on some people that just being in relationship with someone or being friends with them does not give someone the right to assault and abduct them.
Tweets like the one below, highlight the fault in our society where toxic patriarchy is fueled further with the help of some women who just want to please a few men by blaming the vicitm.
A mass mentality exists in our society that demands the perfect victim before any justice is given to them.
Such victim blaming diverts attention from the crime, thus, absolving the accused of any grave actions they might have comitted and shifts focus on battering the victim and questioning their own morality and ethics.
A consensual relationship that started between two agreeing adults could just as well be ended without any violence. Nothing justifies harrassing someone or attacking them just because they no longer want to be with you.
Bringing up old videos of the both of them together to present in the court as defense does not expose anything more than the men with their mentality of justifying abuse just because of a past relationship. Would abuse be justified if the guy was her husband? That just makes it domestic abuse!
This incel mindset has claimed numerous lives in the past, a recent example is that of Sana Yousuf, a tiktoker from Islamabad, who was shot by a man who broke into her own house. The criminal was provoked to commit this heinous crime just because she rejected his advances towards her.
There are numerous others like the first social media celebrity of Pakistan, Qandeel Baloch, a model and actress who got killed in the name of honor by her brother just because she was defiant on living her life on her own terms. The toxic nexus of patriarchy and mysoginy took her life. There was victim-blaming there too justifying her murder just because she was being too ‘troublesome’ for her family.
Another incident out of Islamabad, Noor Muqaddam, who rejected a guy she was in a relationship with and got murdered by him in cold-blood. The guy even played with her head after chopping it off of her body just to claim his victory. Many put the blame on the victim saying she had it coming just because she was visiting him in his house.
Here’s hoping for a less gloomier future for women where they are not a victim of the poison of mysoginy and moral policing.
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